Daily inspiration #2
The fable of the two amulets.
Two friends were both given an amulet by their line manager. The first was given the amulet of power and golden glory. The second was given the amulet of lotion.
The line manager told the two friends to go out into the world and see if they could shake things up a bit, and maybe drive business development opportunities - or at least generate unqualified leads.
The friend with the amulet of power and golden glory went to the a nearby gym to test her new powers. She instantly impressed the executives who were training there with her deadlifts, free weights technique and stamina. After some general displays of her prowess, the friend had an idea to monetise her popularity with the executives.
She made a bet with fifteen executives that she could lift them all at once - and if she did, they had to agree to attend a thought leadership symposium that the marketing team were running, and come in for a one to one meeting with a sales manager within this quarter.
The gym manager agreed to let the friend with the amulet of power and golden glory erect a pully with ropes to perform the lift. and a platform on which the executives could all stand. Within a few minutes, the contraption was ready. Some of the executives had showered and were in their suits, they mounted the platform first and huddled together while the sweatier, untoweled-off executives gathered at the edges so as not to stain the clothes of their clean companions.
Is everyone ready? said the friend.
Yes, said the executives, each in their own way.
Is everyone a confirmed decision-maker or senior advisor to key stakeholders in their relative companies? said the friend.
Yes, replied the executives.
Then hold steady!
Everyone in the gym held their breath as the friend with the amulet of power and golden glory heaved on the mighty rope.
The gym manager, with folded arms gave advice to the executives - stay still, executives. You are all suspended in the air now. She must hold you aloft in this way for a full minute to win her prize from you.
The executives stood like goats crowded onto a single outcrop, with nowhere to leap. Some of the ones who were still sweaty complained that they felt dizzy and tired. One of the shampooed and clean executives said she had forgotten a meeting and needed to get down, but nobody believed her.
Stay where you are, you cowardly bonus eating fucks! Shouted the gym manager.
A minute passed. the friend lowered the executives to the ground and collected their business cards. Impressed, the gym manager told her he knew of five other gyms in the area, and a yoga club where she could find even more willing executives to lift.
The friend thanked the gym manager, and went to the other gyms as directed. In the end she lifted over 200 executives, all of whom had decision-making roles in their respective companies, or an overtly influential stake-holder relationship.
When the line manager saw the exploits of this friend, she was delighted. She congratulated the friend’s use of the amulet of power (etc).
Meanwhile, the friend with the amulet of lotion did not go to any gyms. The friend with the lotion took a cab directly home and got into the shower. He began to create lotions using the amulet. Lotions for the skin on his body first, then specific lotions for his buttocks, his thighs, his feet, the behind of each knee, he created a lotion for his neck, and two lotions for the space between his anus and the back of his sac. He created a special triple-action lotion for the skin on his penis - with active ingredients to nourish the shaft, give elasticity to the foreskin and connective skin, and finally to invigorate and blur the sensitive glans.
Then he made one for his face and rubbed it in for over an hour. Long after the hot water was used up, he was still lotioning himself, over and over again. A new lotion for all of the areas that had already been lotioned. He continued to lotion himself while his family gathered downstairs and discussed what might be wrong with him. He lotioned on as his children came, one by one, to the door of the bathroom to ask what was the smell? What is the oil, father, that has leached under the door?
He paid them no heed. He lotioned and lotioned until he became so smooth, and shrunken, he was like a thumb of marble. Still, using a well in the shower basin, he continued to mix and slather in the lotion. He went on shrinking, and graduating towards a smoothness that was a kind of grace. He lotioned his thoughts into refined, untouchable surfaces without friction. He lotioned his outlook on life into a distant, imaginary harbour. He lotioned his CV into nothing.
Eventually, he had applied so much lotion that he was no longer capable of holding the amulet. He became a small stone. A relic that could not be held, but that could breathe, and had the heart rate of a panicking mouse.
The company allowed an insurance payout to be made to his family, who returned to continental Europe and were happy there.
The line manager, though saddened by the loss of an excellent colleague, was pleased that so many leads had been generated as a result of the experiment with the two amulets. And, the centre piece of the thought leadership symposium was a lecture on the value of frictionlessness, given by the disembodied voice of the friend with the amulet of lotion.
Moral or Inspirational message: Contain yourself, or be contained by others. Are you an executive or a gym manager? A lotioned body, or a dead lift. Only you can decide - because only you are in possession of your own gorgeous soul.
